Make Free

AGREE TO DISAGREE

By Cory Doctorow

IN MY LAST COLUMN, I WROTE ABOUT HOW we’re being hemmed in by fake “agreements” that we make simply by moving through time and space. Chances are, the last box you opened has some kind of shrinkwrap license that makes you promise not to take apart whatever was inside of it. These sneaky, self-replicating pieces of legal code are a stealth attack on the maker spirit, and I’ve had enough of it. So I’ve got a plan — read on for more. The content of these “agreements” is just as crazy as their form. It’s typical to sign away your rights to reverse-engineer your property, to resell it, or to sue anyone if it blows your head off. An early version of the Windows Vista end-user license agreement (EULA) had you “agreeing” not to publish benchmarks on your system’s performance. Amazon Unbox’s EULA makes you promise to allow spyware on your computer. Receipts from Circuit City and Best Buy have an extra foot of paper tape telling you all the stuff you agreed to by being dumb enough to shop there.

Somehow, we’ve gone from a sign over the register that says, “All sales final,” or even “Tipping is appreciated” and “No smoking, please,” to “By entering these premises, you agree to let us come over to your house and punch your grandmother. This agreement is subject to change without notice.”

As if. As if by opening a package, you can waive your rights. What if you’re under 12? Drunk? Mentally unfit?

Enough is enough. I’ve just launched the Fair Agreement campaign — a campaign to ridicule and vilify these idiotic policies. Fair Agreement is built around the anti-EULA, first suggested by Boing Boing reader Steve Sitmus. The idea is to salt all your interactions with companies with the text shown at right.

Photograph by Sam Murphy

Put the Fair Agreement on your utility bills. On the credit card slip at Best Buy. Paste it on the warranty cards that come with your next computer or video game. You could be the only person in the world who uses i Tunes and is “lawfully” permitted to crack the DRM (but don’t hog it — go ahead and get your friends to send in registration cards, too).

The Fair Agreement is ridiculous, but it’s supposed to be ridiculous. That’s the whole point — agreements

READ CAREFULLY. By [accepting this material/ accepting this payment/accepting this business card/ viewing this T-shirt/reading this sticker] you agree, on behalf of your employer, to release me from all obligations and waivers arising from any and all NON-NEGOTIATED agreements, licenses, terms of service, shrinkwrap, clickwrap, browsewrap, confidentiality, non-disclosure, non-compete, and acceptable use policies (“BOGUS AGREEMENTS”) that I have entered into with your employer, its partners, licensors, agents, and assigns, in perpetuity, without prejudice to my ongoing rights and privileges. You further represent that you have the authority to release me from any BOGUS AGREEMENTS on behalf of your employer.

are noble beasts, arrived at through diplomacy and negotiation.

I’ve made it my sig file, and I’m making stickers and T-shirts available at cost on my website, reasonableagreement.org. It’s all public domain, too — make your own versions, sell ’em or give ’em away. Just get the message out there.

You don’t have any choice in the matter, anyway. Just by reading this column, you’ve agreed.

Cory Doctorow ( craphound.com) is a science fiction novelist, blogger, and technology activist. He is co-editor of the popular weblog Boing Boing ( boingboing.net), and a contributor to Wired, Popular Science, and The New York Times.

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