Fig. A: Bicycle brake cable snakes up from brake-lever
trigger and threads through the extinguisher handles.
Fig. B: Cable guide keeps the vinyl tubing in place at
the base of the helmet.
Fig C: Extinguisher, extender, backplate, and trigger
rod are assembled and ready to go. Screw the garden
hose quick-connect onto the helmet tube, and you're
ready for combat.
hose quick-coupler to that fitting.
5. Cut the vinyl tubing into two 2' pieces. On one
piece, add repair fittings and quick-couplers to
both ends; that’s your extender, which will run
from the tank to the helmet. On the other piece,
add a repair fitting to one end, connect it to the
hose nozzle, and run the other end through the
wooden block on your motorcycle helmet, from
front to back. You’ll have to really jam it in there,
and friction will probably hold it in place, or else
you can always use epoxy.
6. Attach the last repair fitting to the tube running
through the back of the helmet, put on the last
quick-disconnect, and your helmet is ready to go.
You might want to stabilize the tube by running it
through a cable guide at the base of the helmet.
Photography by John Young
(Optional) Epoxy a scrub brush to the top if
you want a Roman centurion look. Or clip on
some Pelican flashlights if you’re going to battle
after dark.
Now Go Have Some Adventures
Fill the extinguisher to the index mark on the
inside, spin on the collar (some vacuum grease
will help you keep a tight seal), and pressurize
the tank to 100 psi. Snap the extender to the tank
and the helmet, attach the backplate, strap it
onto your back, don the helmet, and you’re ready
to rock and roll. You can rule your block, sell justice to the highest bidder, or loan your rig out to
those supplicants whose cause is worthy.
Just try to keep your eyes on your opponent
when you pull the cable release: the water pressure
tends to snap your head back a bit! You probably
couldn’t hurt someone with a store-bought water
gun (unless you clubbed them with it), but you
could definitely hurt someone with your water
cannon if you shot them in the eyes at close
range. Or if you ask them to carry it for you — it’s
heavy. Be careful out there!
The author lends his head-mounted water cannon
on a two-week basis to those whose causes he
deems worthy. Read more at
ultimatewatergun.com.
John Young is a technologist at Digitas in New York. He
enjoys web development, motorcycles, and heavy metal
music about European history.
