sort of a dirt-bike Tour de France. The only person
allowed to fix the bike during the ride is the rider
himself, right down to changing his own tire. As the
ride is a time trial, one must complete each section
within a given time period, including repairs, so it
pays equally to be an awesome rider and a talented
and intuitive repairman. What a refreshing format:
a competition for renaissance men, people who
understood their machinery as much as having the
testosterone to ride it fastest. I would love to have
seen the fencing-wire and duct-tape solutions that
got the winning machines over the finish line. I say
winning machines because the race was not for first M Y GIRLFRIEND RECENTLY SAID, “LET’S place, since anyone who finished with original bike get a dirt bike.” within the time limit got a medal. “Woohoo!” I said. Then, “Wait, why do you I could see why my girlfriend might have been
want a dirt bike?” seduced, but I was still suspicious. I broached the
The motives, according to her, were a string of subject with one of my dear friends. “A dirt bike?”
recent events. 1. Deep Impact, the movie: remember he said. “Your girlfriend is suggesting you buy a
the scene where the two kids escape the tsunami dirt bike?! Don’t worry about the motives, just say
caused by the meteor impact with the Earth? yes, yes, yes!”
2. The newspaper coverage of traffic jams of people I started looking at dirt bikes online. I had to filter
trying to get out of the way of Hurricanes Katrina my search by cubic engine capacity as much as by
and Rita. 3. We live in the East Bay of San Francisco space for two riders and the aesthetic requirements
in a low-lying area only a few miles from a bunch of my lady, because after all, if you are going to
of major fault lines, with the potential for still more escape the apocalypse, you must escape it in style.
post-disaster traffic jams. I wanted something I could fix with minimal tools
Of course, it may have been none of these reasons. and equipment — this ruled out an awful lot of the
She is an aesthete, after all, and her choice to Netflix newer bikes, which were too expensive anyway, and
the fabulous film On Any Sunday was probably the many of the older bikes, which were terribly trouble-
major influence, however subconscious. It’s a 1971 some looking. Eventually, we found the Bultaco,
documentary on dirt bike racing bankrolled by, and which, it so happens, is a Spanish machine whose
starring, Steve Mc Queen, produced by the same heyday was in the 1970s. I quickly found one nearby
filmmaker who made the cult surf classic Endless on Craig’s List (
craigslist.org). On the web, I also
Summer. We both loved the movie, particularly the found a plethora of sites about passionate Bultaco
simple beauty of dirt biking before advertising and hobbyists, a good sign I’d find community support
logos made every amateur look like a lime green and hints on keeping the machine alive. Although the
advertisement for extreme sports drinks. last manual was printed 20 years ago, I’d still be able
One of the most beautiful aspects of On Any Sunday to train myself in the finer arts of Bultaco-owning.
is the footage of trials-riding legend Malcolm Smith Buying anything secondhand, particularly a 30-
participating in an amazing motorcycling marathon. year-old machine designed to be abused, is always
A multiday event where the rider was expected to risky. I fully expected to be buying it from a 30-
ride the same bike, all components included, across year-old hooligan who’d thrashed and beaten it and
a long and tortuous route including the mountains was now disposing of it. I was delighted, therefore,
and roads and mud and dirt and deserts of Spain — upon approaching the Cupertino driveway to see
References:
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