velcro fasteners, 20" zippers in every shade, and their addiction. I literally put a floor in my attic to
polar fleece in every solid color. You do. hold my inventory. But how to organize it all? I’ve
What is the most frivolous fabric in my stash right photographed it, labeled it, and alphabetized — cut
now? That’s hard to say. My sweetheart just started out samples and stapled bits to index cards with
working in hospitals, where he wears scrubs, and he cunning descriptions. But my attempts to act like
noticed that other nurses and techs show up in all I’m a lady of leisure who can spend every waking
kinds of prints. The traditional pale green and blue hour running a fabric museum are a joke. When
are completely out of fashion today on the ER floor push comes to shove, you’ll see my legs sticking out
— you’ve got to express yourself! There’s a great from under my bed, stuffing in another Trader Joe’s
Kwik Sew scrubs pattern that has pockets galore, grocery bag of unmarked yardage.
so I made him an offer: “I’ll get some cotton prints My general system, which has survived my folly,
that’ll make you proud, and your patients happy.” is to use file drawers for patterns. Since most of
This is what I came home with: Brokeback my work is digital now, it freed up a lot of hanging
Mountain cowboys striking poses against a rodeo file folders for my precious out-of-print Vogues
background. It’s cotton! It’s apparently from a whole and Christine Jonsons. For fabrics, I separated the
line of Village People prints of hunky dudes vamping wovens from the stretchies, the linings and the
around in blue-collar poses. The store was sold out novelties, the cottons from the wools, and it really
of the construction workers print, and the firefight- helped. It’s grotesque to go through 40 boxes to find
ers. I bought the last five yards of do-me cowpokes one Hawaiian print that burns in my memory, but
they had left! I can go through two or three.
Can Jon wear this to work? Probably not, though I took myself off email lists for sales at Jo-Ann’s
I swear it’d give his terminal patients a well-needed and other fabric stores. I don’t let myself web-laugh. Does he still want me to make them up? Hell browse at Emma One Sock unless I’m really sick in
yes! He’ll be able to dine out in this outfit for years. bed with the flu. Until I’ve made pajamas for every-
Illustration by Samantha Hahn
What’s the most expensive unused fabric I have in one in the Yukon Territory, I am not allowed to buy
my stash? Italian cashmere, embroidered charmeuse another inch of flannel, not even the French Bitch.
silk, and some crazy scarlet faux lamb fur that I remember the innocence of the mother-daughter
seemed critical one winter. I haven’t used them out outfit days. When we put on our leafy-green shifts,
of sheer intimidation: “I can’t screw this up, it’s so people gasped: “Oh my god, you’re wearing matching
expensive; one day I’ll be ‘good enough’ to take marijuana-leaf dresses!” I put my hands over Aretha’s
scissors to it.” ears and shot them a dirty look. We picked our jungle
Rationally, I take a dim view of these excuses. print in the purest spirit of color appreciation and
If I buy it, I need to have the nerve to cut it out. delight at the artist’s tropical spell. It felt great in our
I learned that lesson after two years. All my most hands. We thought we looked so cute. No one can
ridiculous purchases were made when I was a new ever take that away from us. ×
sewer, and my eyes were bigger than my stitches.
Organizing fabrics and patterns is the first sign
to the stashaholic that they are unequipped for
Check out related links from this story at
craftzine.com/08/bright.
